Trying To Be Free
Trying To Be Free was written the morning after a high-desert bender.
We drank too much under the Sante Fe stars, shared religious doubts and frustrations, then finally threw up in the sagebrush. This song became our anthem of religious tension – a wrestle between community, love, and hope in one corner and fear, guilt and protectionism in the other.
The recording features many who shared that night, contributing remotely during the pandemic.
Lyrics
Kneel down while I hold back your hair
There’s no need for shame honey, we’ve all be there
I know nothing I say will make it seem fair that
Pleasure and pain are so tangled together
Please know you deserve to be loved
And the shelter he’s giving you – it isn’t enough
When then nights have gone cold and you lie in the silence
With passion and pain held so tightly together
We are shaking off shackles
Trying to be free
Without walking away from everything
So spill out all of your rage
Line after line, page after page
Knowing nothing you write could ever erase
How salvation and pain are so bound up together
We are shaking off shackles
Trying to be free
Without walking away from everything
I keep scrolling through the photos on my phone
Cos I love who I am when I am not alone
There’s an ache that you left me – a sliver of home
Why do friendship and pain always wind up together?
We are shaking off shackles
Trying to be free
Without walking away from everything
Credits
This song came together with contributions from many wonderful talented people who aren’t me.
Drums – Brendan Lyons
Keys – Brennan Cameron
Mandolin – Tania Runyan
BGVs – Seth and China Kent (Alright, Alright)
Voices Captured in the Desert – Kristin Tennant and Todd Truffin
Mastered in Ottawa, Ontario by Philip Shaw Bova