If I Could Have

If I Could Have is a song about do-overs. I’ve often thought about how if I could be sent back to the past to correct my mistakes, I’d likely make them all over again. Maybe worse.

I’ve been married for twenty years now, and that’s plenty of time to screw up plenty and get into fights. I’ve sat with myself for many moments trying to figure out where something went off the rails.

Maybe this is just me, but I’ve also wondered if I would change my partner if I could?

We all have our faults – would I fix those in her? Would she fix mine? I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.

I don’t know.

Lyrics

If I could have you back again someday
We’d end up fighting just the same
But I wouldn’t have you any other way
If I could have you back again someday

If I could have your light without your fire
What would become of our desire?
I don’t want comfort – I wanna be inspired
I don’t want your light without your fire

If you come over
I’ll ask you to leave
But I will not take your key
And if I call you
You’ll hang up the line
But not until I hear your breath and you hear mine

If I could give your memory away
Just forget about the day
When I held you close and knew you could not stay
If I could give your memory away

Don’t come over
I’ll ask you to leave
But I will not take your key
It isn’t easy to be free

There’s nothing simple about love
There’s nothing simple about trust
There’s nothing simple about any of us
There’s no untangling the pain
From all the joy your eyes contain
I keep coming back to this refrain

If I
If I could
If I could have
If I could have you
If I could have you back
If I could have you back for just one day

Credits

Von Bieker – writing, recording, mixing, acoustic guitar, vocals (Edmonton, Aberta) 

Smokey Fennell – pedal steel guitar

Philip Shaw Bova – mastering (Ottawa, Ontario)

Streaming